Will the Real Olivia Please Stand Up?

IVF makes you lazy. It makes you have weird side effects. And it makes you wonder where you are. I know I'm here, but I just don't feel like me! So I haven't really felt like blogging. Or doing anything else that I typically enjoy sans a few things.

We went to the lake over the July 4th holiday. We had a really good time. I wish I took more pictures. I did get some good video, though. Too bad I can't post it. No one thought I could do the Beyonce booty-shake and I proved them wrong before I get so big that I kill someone with my butt...so I decided to "break 'em off a little piece"...that's gangsta for demonstrate my Beyonce booty-shake. Unfortunately, my Flip camera was in a very evil way turned against me and it is captured indefinitely. Lots of other fun things happened and I'll give the "vacation" (I use that term loosely) its own post in a few days. As a reminder to me, since the meds are giving me premature pregnancy brain, I'll title the lake post "The Poor Man's Boat".

So we started the IVF process on Tuesday, June 29th. I was on birth control (weird, but a part of the protocol) for 1.5 months prior, but that isn't pointy and sharp so I don't count it as "starting IVF". We went to Dr. R expecting the nurse to give me my first injection which she did not. After giving us a tutorial it was up to Michael and me to decide who was going to give the shot. Michael offered but after a mild freak out, I put on my big girl pants and was able to give myself the shot in the thigh. That also is a post in itself so I'll refrain on giving too much detail right now...I think I'll called that post "Needle Terror" or "Scared Shitless" or "It's Natural to Stab Yourself, so Quit Being a Weenie"...we'll see.

Anyhoo, I don't like to look at the needle so Michael loads the medicine for me and I go hide and give myself the shot between 6-8am daily. I've had a few mishaps, but nothing too bad. I even loaded my own needle tonight which Michael reminded me is "his job". Sooner or later he'll have to travel and we can't be together all the time so I had to give it a try.

I also went off birth control on July 3rd. The super exciting part of this process is a little monthly gift thrown right in the middle of this process which I got last night! :) Hopefully the last one for a while. I hope, hope, hope!

What else...? I had a doctor's appointment today where they took blood to see if the Lupron has sufficiently suppressed my ovaries. It has. And I have some little baby (pun!) follicles on my ovaries which is apparently a good thing so I'm ready to start super sizing the follicles on Saturday. This involves two additional injections in the morning and evening. I'm not gonna lie, it's complicated. Mixing powder and solution...pens that you stab in the tummy...lots o'needles. Really crazy stuff to give someone that has had no medical training. I'm taking it one day at a time so I'll get to panicking over the extra injections in the stomach on Saturday. Oh, though I did check my stash of meds today (finally, I haven't been able to go through it all yet until tonight) and they sent me 1.5 inch needles instead of .5 inch needles for one of my meds. I think I'll be getting that fixed in the morning!

So far the main side effects I've had are nights of insomnia, mild headache, finger tingles, stupidity, night sweats, blurry vision and some aggravation. Most have these have been mild where they only make an appearance, then go away. Michael gave me a huge compliment and said my attitude and craziness haven't been anything like he thought they would be. Thanks, I think. I have been extra attuned to my temper and frustrations. I actually think I've been more patient and nice since starting the meds than before just because I am so worried I'm going to turn into my evil twin. Who knows what will happen once I add in the other meds, though.

Well, there you have it. More boring infertility updates. It's a fast moving process from here. I know I am crass, but I still seek your prayers. I pray that this works but also for comfort and that defies my understanding if not. I can't tell you how thankful I am to have God and my husband batting in my corner. They say this stuff will either put a wedge or draw you close...thank goodness it has drawn me closer to both. Now let's just hope they will continue to put up with me!! :)

Yours truly,

Olivia (at least until my evil twin takes over on Saturday)