Cheers and Jeers...

Gimme an I, I! Gimme a V, V! Gimme a F, F! IVF! If you can't cheer about it, then why do it?! Get excited (!) no real updates except that we're moving forward this month. Once I start my monthly gift, we'll begin the process which begins with birth control for a couple of weeks then on with the hormones...etc. We're excited but a little in the avoidance stage. I'm not real stoked about the exposure to needles that IVF is going to dish out. I had a TB test last week at work...it is negative but still bruised and swollen. My legs are bruised from crossing my legs. I can tap a piece of furniture with a limb and be black and blue. Let's just say the injections from IVF are not going to be pretty. Please, solemnly promise me to not judge me for the next several months. I think this is going to be intense. We'll see. So many people have told me that they will pray for me...

Speaking of people praying for me...lots more people know that we are going to be doing IVF because I told everyone at work...because I resigned. Ug. I just couldn't keep the pace and add in IVF. As most of you know, I cancelled our cycle last month. It was just too much. I think it will be nice, going back to a more simple lifestyle. It's hard with Michael traveling so much and me never being home. The dogs feel very neglected, our house is certainly neglected and my rest has been neglected lately. I'm going to stay on PRN (per required need). If they have a big project or if everyone comes down with the stomach bug they will call me. It's a way to keep my foot in the door. I just can't let go completely. As much as this job has totally drained me, it has also been a much needed diversion from the reality of infertility. I tell you - I work with a solid group of people and I am going to miss them like crazy. When you wonder where all the good people of are...I can show you because I've been working with them.

Lastly, I can't help but mention Mother's Day. What an ironic holiday. On the one hand, every Mother should be celebrated. On the other hand (and one I know I wouldn't have considered unless I had experienced infertility), Mother's Day is a tough one. I know I will one day join the masses be it achieved naturally, medically or adopted. Funny though, I feel like a mother regardless. It may sound stupid, but I truly feel like I have a child out there just waiting to make his debut and that makes me a mom in the making.