Who is still speaking to me?

Anyone? I wouldn't if I were you. I've been more than a little MIA. No posts, no calls. According to Michael, just work and a few minutes of sleep. Story of my life...I don't know if it's me, events/executive assistant roles or a lethal combo of the two that never lead to a pleasant work/life balance. Certainly this week has been one of the most demanding ever.

I'll post about the grand opening of the hospital soon, but first things first, we had our first Reproductive Endocrinologist appointment on Monday with Dr. Lee. She's cool. She recommended that we do IVF, duh. She feels that we may be the victim's of bad luck, dumb sperm or tough eggs. Knowing both of us, that makes a lot of sense. :) She said we had tried long enough and thought that if we were ready, she is ready. My physical exam showed great anatomy and Michael looks studly as ever. So your wondering where we are in this venture? Well no closer than we were before. I was to call the doctor when I started my period (Tuesday) and then start birth control this week (sounds weird, but standard). Also, I needed to travel back to Dallas to do some blood work.

Here's were I let everyone down. I know my limitations (kind of). I started my period about 4:30pm on Tuesday so I couldn't call that day. I had good intentions of calling on Wednesday but by then it was crunch time for the grand opening of the hospital. I'm pretty darn sure that I've never been so stressed in my life. On one had, I had a very public display of my abilities on Friday at, not one, but two events in one day. On the other hand, I have my heart and my husband hoping and praying that we have a baby as soon as possible. The days that followed included, I think, an anxiety related bug, because I threw up most of Tuesday night through Friday morning. I slept about 4 hours per night and by Thursday, I knew that this wasn't the best way to start IVF. Although being a mom is my priority, I had to finish up my project because that is just me.

One thing I've learned - I don't really like event planning! Ha! So much pressure in such a public way! It's not a written report that can be revised...it's a one time shot at getting it right. Not really my personality as I am a put it on paper until it is perfect kind of girl.

Excuses, excuses. I'm struggling with putting off IVF for work. I know the decision I made was right, but the other 50% of me (Mike) is pretty disappointed. Had IVF not worked, I would have always questioned if it was because I was so stressed when we began the process. We have to wait until I start my period again to move forward. I pray, pray, pray that I don't develop cysts between now and then which has been the case more than once.

For all you loved ones that I've not called back or check in with, I'm sorry. You wouldn't believe the sort of hours people are pulling starting a new hospital. We opened at 9pm on Friday BTW, about 30 minutes after the 2nd event concluded. I've never seen such dedicated people. Really good people that care about providing quality health-care...I think I've worked a lot lately...you should see some of the hours the clinical people work. I wonder at what expense though?

I'm all over the place tonight - I guess my main points are: I miss each of you who read this blog; we will be starting IVF next month in a very public way since I'm posting it on this blog; we will continue to eat ramen noodles because IVF costs a boat-load; we are fortunate beyond belief to be able to afford IVF and still have a roof over our heads and a comfortable life filled with love for each other, our family and friends, and for babies that have yet to be born to us; and life is a complicated mix of what to do with our time each day...with work, family, leisure and rest. Thank God we all have each other to stir that pot and hopefully have the good outweigh the bad.