I'm not going to lie. Today has been challenging. Though, before I start listing my ailments of the day, let me say I love being pregnant. I love being pregnant so much that when things like today happen it just leaves me like a blob of jello. I have found that I have a pretty incredible "emergency" response. I remain calm, divide, conquer (maybe even sugar-coat and cheer lead to protect the ones I love)...then I crumble once the issues or tasks of the day are over. At least I made it to the crumble part in one piece.
OK, so my day starts great. Today I am 12 weeks pregnant. This is the day we've been waiting for. The "if I can only get to 12 weeks, I'll feel more secure" day. I bounce into work in a great mood. Kolaches and donuts at my desk. Thank you sir, may I have another?! All's well until I go to the bathroom and notice some spotting. Now, the doctor warned me as I ween off of the progesterone that this can happen. But I am convinced at this point in my life nothing is a scarier sight. So I call the doctor and they get me in immediately. Off to Plano I go. I literally just walk out of work. I had a "baby brain moment" on my way and got on 75 instead of the Tollway (where's the damn hospital?!) but it only caused me to be 15 minutes and I actually had a good laugh at myself thinking "where is my brain?". In my belly I guess. Long story short - everything is fine. It turned out to be just the progesterone but the appointment was intense! First a sonogram. Oh, Lord thank you for that part. A beautiful little flailing baby is in my belly. Long arms, long legs and fully of acrobatics. I am amazed that I cannot feel the little thing flying around in there! It is a b-a-b-y...no longer a little bean looking thing. It was amazing! The sonographer doesn't tell you if everything is OK or not but by the looks of things, the baby looked good. So back out to the lobby of the OB I go to wait for the doctor. Doctor confirmed everything looked good and not too worry. I confirmed that I'm going to the perinatologist next week for the Lovenox issue. Back to the lobby to wait to give blood (which was the 2nd time to give blood as I volunteered at work to help set baseline for our lab - prior to the spotting - now I have track marks on both arms again).
I was at the doctor for 2.5 hours and left really tired but relieved. Poor sweet-pea was hungry so I went to Chuy's and had a delicious dinner before heading to my house to my welcoming committee of three dogs, sans a husband who is traveling. (Yeah, he isn't all that great of a side-line husband. Poor guy was in NJ getting text updates. No bueno.)
Just as I'm starting to relax and recover from the stress of the day (that I didn't even realize I felt so deeply) my nose starts to bleed. I don't mean the free bleed that I talked about a few posts ago that is slight. This was full on bleed, dripping, blood everywhere type bleed. All I can think about is a guy my dad works with had to go to the ER recently because he is on a medicine like mine and his nose wouldn't stop bleeding. Alas, mine finally stopped.
Then it was time for my Lovenox shot. I'm thinking surely this is going to go right! Not! I have been trying to give the shots in my thighs (rather than stomach) so that my pregnancy belly pics aren't so ugly/black/blue/green/yellow. But amazingly I'm more comfortable now giving them in the stomach so I went back to that area tonight. Uh, must have hit a vein because I bled and bled. And I have a huge knot that formed and sticks out. I know I won't be able to have anything (such as pants!) touch it tomorrow because it will be so sore.
I'm just worn out. And thrilled that the baby is OK. And hormonal as hell. And hungry again already. And, and, and. And the moral of this post is I'm drained of blood but still kicking! Sorry - hopefully this story/day will serve as a wa-wa-wahhh moment for me to laugh at at a later date. I actually feel better already by just thinking about the day and realizing a good night's sleep (as a far 2nd to baby looking like a champ) will make it all better.
Is it weird that I have that lyric "momma said there will be days like this" or something like that in my head? She definitely did. And she said they are all worth their weight in gold when you have that baby in your arms! :)
Addendum in the AM: Well I did sleep and feel much better this morning until I woke up to another bloody nose. Blood on bed, blood on shirt, etc. Soooo, I'm praying for humidity. Monday can't come fast enough to discuss this with the perinatologist. Please pray for baby and that whatever decision that the doctor makes about the Lovenox keeps the baby safe and me with at least somewhat of a circulatory system left in tact to support this little one.
Get up out of bed Olivia! I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...
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