3rd time is a Charm! Let's hope...

Michael and I had our 3rd (and maybe final) IUI this morning. We told a lot of people about our first IUI as it coincided with a very important family event (Mark and Anne's wedding!). Plus it was super exciting because we just knew it would work! Well it didn't. That was in November. Here is the quick play-by-play of what we've been doing regarding fertility since then. The first cycle after the failed IUI, I was a mess. We just "took off" that cycle. I know, gotta love the lingo. Anyhoo, the Nov/Dec cycle I had some cysts (party favors) left over from fertility drugs that I had taken in early November. However I had a good feeling about them going away mid-month and the cycle was miraculously converted to a all-natural IUI cycle. Umm, that one didn't work either. We didn't really tell a lot of people about last month's cycle - we just prayed the 2nd IUI worked.

So back to this cycle...First of all, I took another fertility drug, Femara. It works like Clomid, but with less side-effects. Apparently, I was a wee hard to deal with the month I took Clomid. Funny story about the clomid month (I just realized that this blog is not going to be G rated - sorry)...so I saw a male ob/gyn the month of the cysts (and yes I realize these cycles are all running together to you as you read this - don't worry, I've got them straight so no need for you to try). I told the male ob/gyn about my "hormones" being a little out of whack when I took the Clomid to which he repied "I don't know why anyone gives Clomid anymore, it just makes you a real b*tch that no one will want to sleep with so how are you supposed to get pregnant?" WOW, that's the difference between the male ob/gyn and my regular sweet female ob/gyn - I don't think that she mentioned the b*tch part when she prescribed it! Well I took the male's advice and switched to Femara this month. Today's procedure was text-book. The IUI is just a little uncomfortable, but I feel fine now. Mike had a strong-like-bull count.

Now is the time where I begin reassuring myself that I have done EVERYTHING in my power this month to give us the very best chance of getting pregnant. From here it is in God's hands. My prayers have been something like this: "Jesus, it is in your hands. You know it is in our hearts to have a child to raise in your Word. Please let your will and our desire align this month. If not, please give us peace to know your timing is perfect."

Although that prayer sounds simple, it has taken me a year to arrive at it. There are so many emotions/thoughts/wants/etc wrapped up in every prayer about this process. There's selfish desire, entitlement, total surrender, hormones, guilt, praise and anger wrapped up in it too. It can get pretty complicated to have faith that the Lord CAN bless you with a child but yet not presume that we are entitled to it. Anyways, my friend Margo has helped me simplify it; it is simply out of my hands and my will cannot produce a baby only His can. Thus...

WE'RE GOING ON VACATION! Since I've done my job and it is in God's hands now, I'm/we're going to Puerto Vallarta! We leave Saturday and come back on Thursday. Oh how I long for sun, sand, alone time with Michael and cerveza (no not many, I realize beer guzzling and TTC do not mix). We are just going. Mid-winter, bloated, white bellies are apparently allowed in Mexico so off we go!

Side note: IUI is an intrauterine insemination. Basically, they take the "leg-work" out of the swim. That is the technical medical-journal description. TTC is trying-to-conceive. Just think how "in the know" you'll be about fertility after an acronym lesson! Gag. :)