Quit thinking about my fist...

Yikes. I don't know why I feel like getting this off my chest but...

I have a rebuttal for the "quit thinking about it and it will happen". I'm sure you know what the "it" is. I was told after our first IUI failed that I needed to quit thinking about it...that my brain was getting in the way. (Sidenote already: I was told by a health care professional - not a well-meaning friend or family member. Well I take that back...I've been given this advice approximately 1,000 times but only the health care professional struck a chord so hard I'm about to spend 20 minutes having a mock argument with my blog. Anyone who loves me and gives this advice is excluded from this rant.) Anyhoo, I decided to make a list of the do's and don'ts that I'll need to wipe from my brain in order to get pregnant:

Don't use Proactiv Skin care - Never mind that prior I used Proactiv since I was 18.
Don't have x-rays days after ovulation during any given cycle.
Do take a prenatal vitamin everyday.
Don't drink or drink very little.
Don't take ibuprofen or naproxen.
Don't take antihistamines during certain times of the month.
Don't have surgery during certain times of the month. I had to schedule my skin cancer removal around my cycle because the doctor will not operate on a TTC woman after ovulation until period starts.
Do, on assisted fertility cycles, call the doctor on day 1, have a vaginal ultrasound by day 3, another vaginal ultrasound on day 12, artificial insemination on day 13/14 and then just sit back and don't let it cross your mind!
Do acupuncture 1 time per week. And I have for the last 4 months at the recommendation of my doctor. I HATE needles. I literally have to give myself a pep-talk every session. Why else would I do it?? At the low, low price of $70 per session.
Don't sweat the baby showers. I'm 30. All my friends are pregnant. There are baby-showers.
Did I mention baby-showers?
Don't worry about travel schedules. My husband travels 3 days a week and books usually 2 weeks in advance.
Don't stress about the financial piece. IVF costs $12-$15 K and we have to save for it. New designer purse? Nope, thank you I'm saving for IVF. And forget sushi dinner date night...raw fish & spending money, double bad.
Do enjoy pregnancy gazing at Wal-Mart. Every person that shops at the Wal-Mart by my house is pregnant. It's a prerequisite. (Now I'm just being a smart a**!)
Don't take Nifedical (my Raynaud's medicine). It's class C. Had to get off of it 6 months before we started trying.
Last, but not least, don't long for a child. Yet, I desire to have my own baby. I long to see a little one that looks like its daddy. I want to look forward to soccer or basketball games. What about that is not to think about?

I kind of equate all of this to the "real world" like telling someone, don't worry about that promotion, your finances, paying the mortgage...if you don't think about it, they will take care of themselves! Maybe that's a bit of a stretch, but ya know what I mean. I'm sure plenty of women have probably gotten pregnant doing/not doing any/all of the above. But just for the record I tried it the good 'ole fashioned way and didn't worry about it for many, many months. It just didn't work out. So I think about it. There. I don't think about it as much as I used to but short of cutting my head off, it's going to cross my mind now and then as I'm do-ing and don't-ing through this hand we've been dealt.